Just for her killer wink smile ;)

This is a love story; been cooked up somewhere amidst the many unimportant day-to-day dealings that have monotonized life, in general. This episode might resemble some particular instances you have seen elsewhere, all unintentionally.

STATUTORY WARNING: This story is meant to have a male protagonist. It is in fast forward mode.

Both the above warnings are not co-related.

He was there in the crowd. Sitting in a gathering of fresh-from-school college juniors, he was all the very playful, exuberant and, if you may call him, the Cassanovic guy. She was the host for the function. She had the mike in her hands and was calling the shots for the program planned. And that was where they first met. Well, not exactly, met is kind of stretching it too far.

They never talked on that fateful autumn evening,

They had no idea what destiny had in store waiting.

That one day some years down the line

Their love story would pulp, in a manner very sublime.

It all began with something like this –

He = I, She = her

Fresh in college – with ball loads of guts

Albeit with more ifs and buts;

Getting a ‘jee-eff’ was one of the things to do

Before I had to bid college life adieu. (sic)

Testosterone levels rose to levels unknown,

Deficiency of progesterone in college was a major let down.

Man! This is getting lame

After testing the waters for more than a year

And getting to know about the fairer sex from both far and near;

This one girl struck a chord like no other,

‘Maybe this is it’, I began to ponder.

My friends said, ‘soch lein 22. Aivee puhade vich na payii.

Aashiqui de chakkar vich apna na katvayii’.

She had a face I recognized and a name that I had heard,

That the two were of the same girl; was a classic case of me, an awesome nerd.

We flirted on Orkut, or were it also on Hi5!,

Or was it endless mails on which our relation did thrive?

Social Networking had a major role in getting us together, on hostel's pathetic LAN;

As did Hutch’s late night talk time plan.

On one fateful New Year’s Eve I slipped the question.

She fumbled, stumbled and thought about her apprehension,

And said, ‘yes’; a moment captured vividly in my head;

A vision of all corridors in college scrambling for space in my head.

That I was officially in a relation, on a high with glee,

Many people tried to get myself a hang of me.

The first six months, I don’t recall much about the rest,

I missed out on hostel nights and screwed up my tests.

Even when two suppli’s banged my balls blue,

I was still a bit glad, coz she had got them too.

Sense prevailed after the first major fight,

And we began to bring back things in light.

Still,

We studied, fought and tried to make the most of now;

The bike rides, movie dates and coffee chats were well wide scattered, and how.

Though the moments shared together are special and well preserved.

She had been the more daring one, and I the more reserved.

There are loads of moments that we look back and fondly remember;

Moments, encased ever so monumentally of myself and of her.

There is something about these love stories. Sometimes you just wonder that is it actually a love story or am I just fooling myself. Sometimes the sense of ultra super belongingness crops up and sometimes the chains of confinement make a mess in your mind. Sometimes you think that ‘this’ is what life is meant to be and sometimes you curse your balls / brain for having gotten you in this muddle. Sometimes you would want to and would do anything to get a smile on her face and sometimes you would crap things up on purpose. Sometimes all you need is a hug to get rid of all fears and apprehensions and sometimes, well; you feel it’s better to get it over and done with.

All these emotional traumas, if we may call them were not unknown to me. Some experienced people around had given their take on what is it all about to be in love, love and be loved in return. But, human tendency; to discover the taste of the fruit by tasting it oneself often gets the better of what wisdom is stored and shared in the mind.

So, where were we?

We have had our share of long distances between us,

Sometimes, a bit more than our share, a fact that usually gets us to cuss.

Many mobile services provided have benefitted from our crazy-roller coaster relation,

Sometimes glum with distraught and at times sickly ridden with elation.

She has been there with me, through thick and through thin.

She’s seen me on the pedestal and also in the bin.

That I have not done justice to her love, is a truth staring me bluntly in the eye;

Words have been my pacifier; I know, I admit with a sigh.

I love her, well, I kind of do.

I am confused, what am I supposed to do.

Everytime I say ‘I love you’;

I question myself, am I even true?

She has made me realize the value of a sorry;

Of a please, and of forgiveness;

Of being morose and merry;

Of knowing her and her lion-hearted-ness

Such has been our topsy-turvy time together

That going to meet her on this wintery January morning, is a prospect I envisage with a shudder.

Having brought nothing much to gift her after these 4 months,

I think and hope this poem would suffice and make her chirpy,

That I spent some time to try to make her happy...!!

PS. I saw an episode of HIMYM last night that raised a new question – which amongst us is the reacher and who is the settler. Need some light!

Please Hold On

I have always wanted to tell you. No, I mean it. I may not be best equipped to express myself in a way that I want to, in a way that I know you want me to be doing so. But I mean it, please hold on!


I have realised that things are not always bad. Not always as bad as they used to be. In fact, look at it as how we have managed to come out of those days of darkness, fear and uncertainty and are now more settled than what we have been in the past decade. That does speak volumes of your resilience and faith you had in what you knew you were doing, and also about luck. I know there was nothing much I could have done back then, without being a superhero in the books I was reading at that time. But now that the time has come, or as I see it, is ever so near than ever, I beg you to please hold on!

The picture you painted in my head that autumn evening, of your dream, has somehow been etched in my memory. It has merged into my goal and is the one thing I want to get, I want to achieve, I want more than anything ever to let you know how much I admire and am proud of you.

How whatever I am going to do is going to effect my future and of those around me is a thought that would always put me at the crossroads, with a series of difficult decisions to make. I don't know how prepared I am to make the right choice out of these difficult crossroads, but its one thing that I want to push forward and let the results be as they are deemed to be right.

Please hold on. I am almost there. And once together we can kick some fine arss. I know it and so do you. So, please hold on. I want to live the life I saw in the books I read. But more than anything I want to live and love my life in a way that I want to, in the way I projected in my own book. You've taught me to be firm in what I have always wanted to do. To be a good human being and leaving the rest to The Power we call the Almighty. I will do that. But, you please hold on.

From the second storey balcony I saw what happened down on the street. I remember the lights and the look on her face. I don't think I realized it back then, but this weekend the jigsaw puzzle showed itself. I don't know how to feel or react, laugh or cry, be hysterical or be myself, react on impulse or work on the planned path.

It wont be long I realise, but it will be long enough to have our own little world accelerated in our own little spaceship that will ever remain in the ascendancy.

Yours'

Seal It With A Hug

I would have to admit that this is not my original creation; at least the idea of writing about the magic of a hug is not. Though I’d take credit for what I have expressed in it and about it.

There are many times when you feel down and low. When you feel that you are the only one left to face the challenges, the uphill task, the dull monotony of life. There are times when all you want is the companionship of anyone, someone who would not say a word to you but would just sit and listen to all the crap-of-a-sense you are making.

Among all the various senses known to mankind, the sense of touch is the most comforting, relaxing, intimidating, if you may, arousing and one that gives a feeling of fulfillment. When you touch it’s not only your skin that touches, a connection between two induvidual is made acts like a live wire for the sense of belonging to flow. And the sense of belonging is by far, what I believe, one of the most necessary, vital and driving forces to keep oneself in spirits to fight through all that is thrown at one.

A hug is a touch that encompasses all sorts of tactile emotions. It is as if the giver and the receiver are pouring into one another the very sense of belongingness, the very sense of being human. The emotion of a hug is something that is way beyond the sexual arena. It is not a lustful expression, as sometimes perceived.

It’s more like a yo-yo. You send it forward and it zinggss back to you in no time. More like a boomerang. It’s a magnetic field that aligns all of one’s worries and happiness’ into a streamline that makes all situations worth living. It gives the inner strength to fight through, to live through adversity. It gives satisfaction that you too have something good in you to share with someone else and to have made his/her this moment worth living.

Different types of hugs convey different meanings with the basic crux being the same, that of belongingness. A goodbye hug means I enjoyed the time we had together, and hope to meet you soon again. A hello hug means that I am glad we have been able to meet again. An I-love-you hug means that I will always be there for you come what may. A friendly hug says, dude, don’t mind but I enjoy pulling your leg. An uncle – aunty hug means, hmph, here we go again. A chat hug means I wish you were here this moment as I miss you and want to catch up on loads of stuff. A photo hug makes the pic more uploadable in facebook. Then of course there is the gigantic Punjabi rib cage crushing hug that reregulates the air supply, all to convey that, hey, you are still alive. So live…!!!

Hug your parents, your grandparents and make them feel that you love them, that you value all that they have given you in whatever way they have. Feel blessed in their arms. Hug your lover and feel the very sense of existence flow throughout your body. It is one of the more satisfying moments worth living. Hug your friends, hug your colleague, hug anyone who has made you feel alive and make a point of returning the favor. For starters, hug yourself and feel thankful for what you have been able to do for yourself.

A word of caution!!! Not everyone is comfortable with a hug. Make sure you aren’t trespassing someone’s personal space, as some people are very protective of it. So take a measure and work towards making everyone aware about this wonderful feeling.

So, Cheers, to a wonderful life.

P.S. Thanks Pushky and Trish. I owe this entry to you two.